


Exothermic

by brigantii



Category: Star Trek
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M, Reboot, jim and self hate
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-12
Updated: 2013-11-12
Packaged: 2018-01-01 06:49:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1041638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brigantii/pseuds/brigantii
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A discussion of things best left undiscussed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Exothermic

**Author's Note:**

> so pretty much the heating went out on the enterprise and it's stuck at like 40 fahrenheit and spock and kirk are cuddling and then discussion happens and it's kinda sad i guess.

Spock is laying under the thin covers, curled up next to Jim, trying to absorb any body heat that might even exist in these frigid temperatures. Scotty had promised that he'd have the heating fixed three hours ago, and yet, here they were, a shivering, huddled mass of sweaty flesh and cold fingers. Spock leans closer to Jim, and pulls his arms around him tighter, if that's even possible, and rests his chin of Jim's shoulder. 

"Are you sure you don't have any more blankets?"

"Each room only comes with one set of bedclothes."

"Yeah, but... you don't have any hidden away somewhere?"

"Unfortunately, I do not."

Jim sighs and pulls the blankets higher, attempting to cover his and Spock's ear with the thin, smooth material. 

"I'm cold," he complains.

Spock almost rolls his eyes, but instead opts for locking his arms around Jim and turning over, effectively covering the humans entire body with his own.

Jim's breath becomes shorter and more shallow. Spock snuggles his chin farther against Jim's shoulder, reveling in the heat that exudes there.

They lay there for a few minutes, unmoving, unspeaking, until they are both warm enough that they can feel their arms. Spock lifts his head to look at Jim, and plants a short kiss on his forehead.

Jim smiles slightly.

"I love you."

Jim freezes, his eyes moving wildly, like a deer caught in the headlights with cars coming and panicking, panicking, because  _what the fuck am I supposed to do_? 

"Jim?" Spock's voice catches slightly, because he's afraid that he's said the wrong thing, he's afraid that this is it because honestly it was too good to be true, why would Jim want to be with a half-breed like him anyways-

"Spock?"

Now they're both looking at each other, eyes wide and Jim is shaking slightly, and Spock looks so  _hurt_ , and Jim is wondering what the hell is going on and-

"Why... why did you say that?" The words slip unbeckoned from his mouth, he was planning on just dismissing it, because he doesn't want to let this moment go, but now he's gone and ruined it, and shit, it's all his fault-

Spock stops his internal self-loathing monologue and takes a breath. "I felt it was the right thing to say."

Under Jim's frightened stare, he gathers the courage to say a few more words.

"I meant it."

Jim closes his eyes. "No."

His partner reels back in shock, throwing the covers off both of them, and under the sobering frigid air, Jim forces out an explanation.

"You don't mean that, you _shouldn't_ mean that. You can do better, and we both know it." 

Spock opens his mouth to protest, but Jim charges on.

"I mean, have you  _seen_  me? I'm fucked up in ways you don't even know about. My entire career is a fucking  _fluke_ , I can't even fly this damn starship without fucking something up, that's how fucking  _worthless_  I am-"

" _Jim_."

The rambling stops as Jim is suddenly staring straight into dark brown eyes.

"You are worth this. You are worth this and anything else."

"I'm broken."

The words come out so faintly that Spock is almost unsure if he heard them.

"You're not," he insists, and he means it.


End file.
